Kink needs a rebrand, hear me out. Chances are when you read the word “kink”, your mind automatically jumped to a sex dungeon with whips, chains and the overpowering scent of latex, and if that’s your jam that’s totally great, but for some it’s a little… full on. As with most things, kink is a spectrum, one that a lot of people don’t even realise they sit on at all because of how hardcore they think it is. Ever been spanked and liked it? Or had a hand placed gently over your throat whilst getting it on and thought ‘ding dong’? Boom, you’ve been kinky all along.
The world of kink is massive, with everything alt, hot and freaky living in it. There’s no right or wrong, and wanting to explore doesn’t make you weird, it means you’re open to new experiences and that’s cool in my book. There literally is no normal, although some acts ARE more common, and can be a smooth transition to kink via the sexy, slow lane.
Blindfolds are like the acceptable dinner party kink. They’re hot and spice things up, but you could also tell your friends all about it without making them uncomfortable, and if they DO get uncomfortable, get new friends (kidding, kind of). Blocking your sight does a lot of things for your body, like intensifying all other senses like crazy, especially touch, because you don’t know when it’s coming (until you do). Think temperature play, feathers, oil, whatever floats your boat. Not being able to see also weirdly adds this quality of not caring what you look like as much AKA you’re more likely to crank up the dial and get WILD.
This is one for the people who really dig cruising around their house nude, and dig it even more if their partner is vibing the view too. Sexual exhibitionism is a kink where the person gets off on the idea or actual reality of being seen naked or having sex. It can mean revealing body parts that are usually covered because of societal norms, like an “I’m not wearing any underwear” text sent across the room - classic, low-key exhibitionism. It can mean slowly undressing for someone, or getting it on when there’s a little danger of being caught (just make sure it’s legal). Tip: balconies as a venue are a vibe.
Did you know spanking is the most popular bondage technique? You do now. It could be because it’s so accessible, and that the spanking spectrum is pretty massive. It ranges from light taps over clothing to hand-prints-for-days territory. It’s fun, sure, but it’s still hitting someone so make sure you’re giving that rear the respect it deserves. Anywhere there’s junk in the trunk is all good, just don’t go veering onto the side of the body or on any bones or joints. Find out your partner’s (or your own) pain threshold, choose an intensity scale and stick to it. Pick a safe word that’s totally random and out of context and then spank it up.
Role play in sex basically means two (or more) people have cooked up a sexy vision, decided “that sounds hot” and then brought it to life. It’s bringing out your inner-actress and embodying someone else, or a version of you that you feel like being. It can be as impromptu, or elaborate as you like. Popular role plays like doctor/nurse, teacher/student might feel a little 80s porn for you, or you might be into it! Think about how you want to feel during the scene, and then work back from there.
Before you start getting freaky, make sure you’re clear on boundaries, how far you want to go and check in with yourself and partner after the act. Go get your (consensual) kink on babes.
Article Written by Ianthe Jacob
Article image credit @snejanajens