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One night stands: A deep dive

One night stands: A DEEP dive

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At their best, one night stands are a fun and freaky release, a spicy sometimes-surprise and a nightcap of the naughtiest kind. Boarding the casual sex express is fun, and hey, if it’s consensual and everyone involved is having a good time, why not? Sometimes you’re just vibing a one night wonder, and that’s a-okay. 

However, at their worst, they can bring up feelings that are hard to pinpoint, but can best be described as a general malaise of bad vibes and/or existential doom. What felt like the best idea in the world a few hours prior, can hit a little different the morning after the night before. Sometimes a brief encounter can have lasting effects on your inner world, and not the “hot flashbacks at work” kind. To understand the WHY behind the weird, let’s firstly identify the major players in the ONS arena in a by no means exhaustive list. 

  • The throwback AKA sex with an ex

Whilst not technically a one night stand because you’ve both walked this road SEVERAL times before, it can definitely feel just as spicy. For something that’s (probably) a wrong move, why tf does this feel so right? The passion, the history, the KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR BODY. It’s all there, and lordy does it work. 

  • The “I probably wouldn’t recognise you in the street but it was on from the moment we said hi”

This is the QUINTESSENTIAL one night wonder, and a tale as old as time. Eyes meet, sparks fly, and before you know it you’re booking the ubz down a one way street to freaky-ville/subpar missionary. The next morning there’s a mandatory number exchange which you both know will never come in handy, with bonus points if you also have to ask their name. 

  • The murky territory with the “are we flirting or are we friends?” friend 

Characterised by a slow build-up full of long lingering looks, seemingly innocent physical contact bringing up ~confusing~ feelings and usually ending in a wine-fuelled D&M full of potent oversharing. 

  • The HR nightmare

So you’ve dipped your nib in office ink, potentially after going gung-ho with the mulled vino at the Christmas party. You’ve now possibly taken your first step towards your bright future with the love of your life (just check the office romance stats), OR created a stifling atmosphere for the rest of your days as an employee of said company. Bit of a gamble, but that’s showbiz baby. 

Okay so, now some pointers on how to deal with the weird. 

Firstly, remember that you’re human and mistakes happen. Okay so the candidate wasn’t ideal, or you weren’t as careful as you should be with protection. Do the necessary pharmacy and doctor visits and don’t beat yourself up. It’s 2021 and internalised shame is non bueno.

Replenish that serotonin. Let’s face it, there’s nothing like alcohol to fuel a sexual fire, and what goes up must come down. Hangxiety will NOT be helping any weird vibes you’re feeling so smash some green juice, do whatever physical movement you possibly can and remember tomorrow is a brand new day baby. 

Remember that sexual regret is common, real common. Should it be? F*ck no. Sex should be fun, and as long as everyone consented and had a good time, where’s the fire? This isn’t the dress rehearsal and no one can accuse you of not livin’ da vida loca. Be safe, be happy and keep doing you honey.

Article Written by Ianthe Jacob

Article Image Credit @cult.class